Jesus Christ: One and only god?

Christians, Mormons, Catholics, and all those other people who believe in one god are very close minded. Want to hear MY theory about this Jesus Christ? 'Course you do :) thanks for the enthusiasm.
Okay, I do believe Jesus is a god! Wow huh?! Not the only god though. Jesus is the Jewish god of jealousy who always wanted more. He came to the earth to make everyone believe he was the only god and thus, he would get the worship! Well, the other gods let him go to earth and mess around in his doll figure he possessed. He produced miracles,and the people began to seriously believe him. But, when the gods began to see what Jealous Jesus was up to, No way were they going to let him get away with it. The fates put doubt in the minds of some and they murdered Jesus's doll. Jesus felt betrayed by Zeus, his father, who stood by and did nothing as his offspring tortured and shattered all the plans of his. Several kind-hearted vampires who had begun to believe Jesus saw the blood the doll bled. They then began to accept themselves and what blood did for them. They used the analogy, blood cleanses, for when they drank the blood, they became human again and the monster in them died for awhile. However, over time, vampires were betrayed by Christians, hunted and killed. That was when they turned from Jesus and seeked the truth. Jesus gave up his earth mission, but the affect was astounding. A new, popular religion was established, and everyone desperate for a god's love followed religiously.

Soulmates

Some people believe you have only one soulmate and that one day you will marry that person, have kids and live happily ever after. Some people believe you have one guy soulmate, and one girl soulmate. But still others believe your best friend or siblings can be your soulmate. THe latter is what I personally believe.
Soul mates are created from souls splitting at death. When a person has a hard life, usually a lot of death involved, and they die from betrayal. Those souls, if no one is there waiting to catch them, splits into two. Stereotypically one good and one evil. In most cases the split souls are reincarnated as twins, but in others they are placed with similar childhoods. The "evil" half has the worse of the two childhoods. The "good" half has life hardly any easier than the other. Through life without the other half, the soul can create either a mask or a dummy. The mask mellows the evil and corrupts the good to the point of equality and possible wholeness for the half. A dummy is another person the half creates to replace it's other half.

Angel of suicide

-Good bones and Simple murders

I know what the angel of suicide looks like. I have seen her several times. Sh'es around.
She's nothing like the pictures of angels you run across here and there, the ones in classical paintings, with their curls and beautiful eyelashes, or the ones on Christmas cards all cute or white.

Not so the angel of suicide, who is dense, heavy with antimatter, a dark star. But despite the differences, she does have something in common with those others. All angels are messengers, and so is she; which isn't to say that all messages are good.

Angels come in two kinds: the others, and those who fell. The angel of suicide is one of those who fell, down through the atmosphere to the earth's surface. Or did she jump?...With her you have to ask.

They said, the pack of them, I will not serve. The angel of suicide is one of those: a rebellious waitress. Rebellion, that's what she has to offer to you when you see her beckoning to you from outside the window, fifty stories up, or the edge of the bridge, or holding something out to you, some emblem of release, soft chemical, quick metal.

Wings, of course. You wouldn't believe a thing she said if it weren't for the wings